Underage
by Hikikomori
Summary: This is the story about young Ryou and an older Bakura, Bakura struggling to come to terms with his deep love for the little one... Contains SHOTA: BoyxBoy love, Pedophilia ON HOLD!
1. Wiggle Wiggle

Hi everyone! Sorry for the long waits for updates on my DMC3 fanfics... And kinda 'forgotten' YGO ones... I'm terribly sorry, I have so damn much on my mind right now... I promise to write more chapters... BUT! Here we have a **_shota_** fic! About Ryou and Bakura ofcourse! (This is a work in progress: Meaning, it will take quite some time to be updated, and or, finished!!!)

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Bakura sang a frustrated tune to himself, as he sat on the balcony with his dear friend YamiMarik. He thought about many things, one of those things was about his little friend, Ryou.

Even though he knew that Ryou was only a child, and that Bakura was far more older then him, the white haired male had a difficult time keeping his feelings inside.

He wanted to cuddle the little one, he wanted to hold him, to make him feel safe, and he wanted do to things to his Light that most people would lable as inapropiate.

Ryou was, after all, a minor. He had just celebrated his birthday: 9 years old, and everyone called him _a__big boy_ now.

Bakura was 18 years old. Far more experienced and edjucated then the tiny, fragile and far to innocent one.

"What's going on in that troubled mind of yours, 'Kura?" YamiMarik smiled, stroking back his bangs from his deep lavendel-purple eyes that could see through anything.

"Oh, nothing in particular."

"Ah, and so you say? Then what can it be that you're thinking about, I wonder?" The smile turned into a confident smirk as he took another drag from his cigarette. YamiMarik had always enjoyed playng tricks with other peoples sanity.

"Give it a rest, would you? Why so curious all of a sudden, anyways?" Bakura frowned, throwing away his unlit smoke.

"Well… You always have that far away stare when you're thinking about a ceirtan someone… A ceirtan young boy with hair that reaches down to his chin and with cheeks that always have a slight hint of pink in them…"

Bakura cursed. "How do you _know_ everything?"

YamiMarik laughed in the his own evil way and slapped Bakura friendly on a chin. "Because he's all you ever thing about, my little cupcake."

Bakura looked furious for a while, but didn't bother putting up a fight. Because who wasn't standing, smiling brightly in the doorway?

"Hi, sweetie! Or should I begin to call you, the big boy, now?" YamiMarik laughed and gave Ryou a big and warm hug before entering the house to get something to eat, and to leave the other two boys alone. 

"Well, how is the birthday boy then?" Bakura put on a smile, his tough exterior, his thin, fake wall.

"Good!" Ryou beamed, jumping down beside him and began to sing 'Happy Birthday' in a low voice.

Bakura laughed slighty, only to feel very uncomfortable when the little boy surprisingly crawled into his lap.

"Eh, Ryou?"

"Yeees?" His white teeth sparkled.

"I… I need to ask you something."

Ryous suddenly looked serious. "'Kura can ask anything!"

"When sitting in my lap, I want you to sit completely still. Can you promise me that?"

The young boy blinked, confusion written all over his childish features. "Why?"

Bakura cleared his throat. "It's because… Well, you know… You're a boy yourself…"

"Eh… Ofcourse I'm a boy…! Is 'Kura sick? Why can't I wiggle in your lap?" To prove how confused Ryou was, he carefully did just that: wiggled. And he put a lot of heart into it to…

Bakura rolled his eyes in the most tormented way he could come up with and bit down softly on a knuckle. "N-No, I'm not sick, I'm completely healthy, but it's… Ryou, this is torture!" He sighed, sounding very upset and frustrated.

Big chocolate pools looked down. "Hm… what's this?"

Ryou pointed. To Bakuras horror.

All Bakura wanted right now was to hide away in a dark, depressing, deep abyss to never, ever see the sun again. Why, did _it_ have to say "Hi!" right now, at a moment like this? When, finally, he was alone with Ryou, the little cute… attractive, droolable brat had awoken those slumbering feelings. Again… Damn. It.

He was not in the mood on having to tell Ryou about what that hard thing in his lap was, and why it was in that state. He couldn't say: "It's hard as a rock because it likes you, Ryou!" Well… That was more or less the truth. But he couldn't very well say that, could he?!

And to, either annoy the crap out of him, or just to rub it in, Ryou began poking. On his very eager… stick.

But suddenly Ryou face lit up, as if he understood _everything_…!

"Oh, so you mean… Ryou is a boy, and he have that… dodgy thing between his legs, and 'Kura has one to, because he is a boy… to?"

"Wow, Ryou has figured it out… C-Could you just get of, please? Be nice to 'Kura now… B-Be nice…"

"But Ryous thing is always like, soft… Why is 'Kuras so hard?"

Ryou poked again.

Bakura groaned. "Stop that, please."

"Why?" Ryou poked one more time.

Bakura was close to breaking point. "B-Because that makes me want to… Argh, Ryou, could you just _please_ stop touching it like that?" Here he was, panicking.

"Why, does it… hurt 'Kura?"

"Yes! Yes, exactly! It hurts!" Bakura blurted out, but immediately regretted it, as he saw the little one pulling away, looking awfully hurt and worried.

"I'm sorry… Ryou will promise to never do that again…" His voice cracked with hints of surpressed tears. "B-But Ryou is just curious, why it is like that…"

Bakura groaned and tried to make his voice as reasuring as he possibly could. "It is like that because… It literally says that he's happy and likes to… uhm… be around you. Gh… It's hard because it wants to get Ryous attention… Y-You'll understand when you're older…"

Ryou blinked, for the second time this morning, and stared into Bakuras lap. "It likes when Ryou sits… on it?" He slowly bent his head to the side and carefully poked it again.

"Did you say it hurt when Ryou did like this?" He poked, yet again.

"Well it… It's not _that_ kind of pain, it's not at all like when you for example, trip and scratch your knee…"

"Oh, so it feels different?"

"Yeah. It kind of feels… so good it hurts… You understand?"

Ryou sat there, quiet, still poking, but stoped as soon as he realised what it was that he was doing. Sort of doing. He hadn't quite got that with how exactly it could go from that soft to _that_ hard, but it was something about liking Ryou… And if it felt so good it hurt Bakura, Ryou wasn't sure that he wanted to poke anymore.

Bakura exhailed deeply, now that the torture was over, and removed his jacket and roled it together to look like a little pillow, and placed it to cover up his crotch.

"I'm sorry again if I hurt 'Kura…" Ryou whispered, curling up beside his older friend, to wrap small arms around the muscular, yet thin frame in a tight embrace.


	2. Trying To Think Of Someone Else

After the 'wiggle-accident', Bakura could think of no one other then Ryou.

It felt really annoying by now, maybe a little angsty, he couldn't even enjoy the nights when YamiMarik and he were out at some bar to drink. And, normally, before Ryou came into his life, those nights where the only ones he would feel completely calm and secure about everything.

"'Kura? You're drifting away again." The chocolate coloured egyptian chuckled, tying the apron around his stomach twice, his skinny figure was almost disturbingly thin.

"Oh yeah? And you need to eat more…"

"Look who's talking! Who in here has been anxious, hasn't slept in four days, and have been running to me for something sharp once every hour per night?"

Bakura gritted his teeth and decided it was best not to answer, or his friend would start an argument that could last through the entire day.

They had signed up to work at Domino Highs private café, and this was what kept them preoccupied during the day. Both, beeing, quite… Nympho, had structured their overly-sexual life to be about work and work only as long as they weren't having… well, sex.

And this was what bugged Bakura to the limit that he just wanted to lock himself in some toalet and jack-off to recorded sleep-moans of Ryous… YamiMarik had exclaimed that he would take a lamp post home and have it as his future sex partner. They just couldn't get enough of the sweet, animalistic and carnal feelings that everyone had such a trouble talking out loud about.

He sighed and picked up a spoon to walk and hand it over to a table that had just got their friend to sit beside them, meaning even more cutomers for poor tired Bakura.

"You wanted anything else?" Bakura asked, sounding frustrated. But what he didn't know was that when he made that particular sound, the girls always heard the voice of a horny, very attractive male.

So they tilted their head, smiled euphoricly and sounded like pigs beeing tortured. Bakura smiled, disgusted inside, but washed it away and waved to YamiMarik to take over.

Luckily, he wasn't as liked by the girls as Bakura was, so that 'almost-glomping-disaster' was quickly over.

"Finally! Work's over!" Bakura screamed, puffed up his hair and drew eyeliner around his eyes.

"Oh my, 'Kura's putting on make-up… I take it you wan't to go out tonight then?" YamiMarik kicked of his boots by the door and ripped his sweaty shirt of and threw it on the floor. "Damn, it's hot working in a kitchen…" He dried his forehead with the back of his hand and went upstairs to take a much needed shower as he waited for Bakura to get ready.

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I _know _this is a really short chapter, but as long as I have it 'written down' for now, I'm all good. More comes real soon, now that my brains started working! -Love to you all patient readers!-


	3. It's Nice To Be Drunk

Just so you know, the chapters/updates for this story is going to be quite short, I'm sorry for that, but again, as long as I have what I'm thinking about at the moment, written down, it'll be just fine in the end...! Hope you enjoy this tiny chapie! -Huggles all-

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They went to their favorite place: Love Planet. (A/N: Yeah, _the_ DMC3 strip-pole-in-the-middle-of-the-room bar.)

Quite the nice bar, with a lot of different drinks that would be enough to make even someone like YamiMarik that could hold his liquor real good, drunk.

Bakura would always get extremely cuddly or angry when drunk. Figures, the way he always watched any kind of random violent act with morbid fascination.

"Oh, well isn't it the Thief and his Egyptian bodyguard?" The bartender exclaimed in a 'Yes-finally-some-intelligent-people!' happy voice.

"Missed us?" YamiMarik said in a seductive way and started to pour himself a glas of high quality vanilla-vodka.

"Oooh, I want to taste that! It's disgusting, right? Gets me drunk, right?"

"No and… yes." He laughed, pouring another glas. They had been customers at this bar for months so they could do such an act without getting in trouble.

The bartender shrugged and continued to wipe the counter and glases clean.

The night went on quite peacefully, both males getting shit drunk, but their smiles didn't drop for second.

"Hey, yanno what? I'm in wonderlaaand!" Bakura hummed, giggling as YamiMarik took another sip of his drink.

"Mm… Hey, 'Kura-chan… Wanna do it tonight? You look lika a really frustrated cupcake with fluffy white hair… and I think I might need you… yeah…" YamiMarik hickuped and finished his drink.

"Naah, I'm not gonna, 'cause…" And then, suddenly he thought about Ryou. Despite the fact that he was drunk and that it felt as if his stomach or bladder was going to burst at any second. He thought about that brat again, _despite beeing drunk_.

"Fuck… I'm… I should… Let's go home now, 'kay?" Bakura sighed and began putting on his jeans jacket.

"Eh? Why now, it's only a few hours… oooh, midnight, that's late. Yeah, we should really… home, right…" Now YamiMarik felt that the need for sex and sleep grew to a far to high level, so he decided that Bakuras idea was the better one.

"If I slip and fall and die, make my funeral a good one with… pretty young boys with white short hair…" Bakura snorted, wobbling back and forth as he went side by side with his equally drunk egytpian 'bodyguard'.

Not that he needed to be guarded or anything, it was just a funny thought.


	4. It Tickles A Lot

Finally, they were home. In one piece, more or less.

YamiMarik said he _needed to do something_ and Bakura went to the nearest toalet to throw up.

Small, queit little footsteps reached that very bathroom and the one they belonged to proceded to bend over the drunk one and to hold up his hair so that the vomit wouldn't get to it.

"R-Ryou?" Bakura said, through gritted teeth and between guttural gasp and violent cramps from his stomach.

"Mm huh… 'Kura's okay?" The young boy wishpered, releasing his tight and secure grip from a wild, snowy white mane as soon as the male was done throwing up the alcohol mixed with small bits of the things he'd eaten for breakfast.

Bakuras whole body shook but he responded with a confident nod.

"I'm fine now…"

"You smell funny. Have you gone to that place to drink dodgy drinks again?"

"Yeah… It was stupid of me, and never let me catch you doing something like it…" Bakura smiled, a tired and dozile smile.

"It's late. Aren't 'Kura sleepy?"

He pated Ryou on the head, earning a cat like mjeuw from the boy. "Actually, now that those dodgy things are out of my system, I'm not as tired anymore. How about you, little one?"

"If 'Kura's not sleepy, Ryou isn't either!" Ryou giggled and ran away out of the bathroom, to play an easy game of hide and seek.

The game went on for half an hour or so, until both boys felt the need to close their deep brown eyes and slip into the land of a peaceful sleep.

"Can I sleep next to 'Kura tonight?"

"Sure. Besides, I'd need a little warmth from someone else."

Ryou nodded, reasuringly and tip-toed to Bakuras private room, where he slept, ate and did all those kinds of things that boys in their late teenage years used to do.

Ryou, who already had sliped into his nightly outfit, hoped on the bed and made himself snugly comfortable under the cover, pillows and blankets.

He sighed lovingly, after inhaling the scent of his friend from the sheets and moving a bit to the side to give Bakura some space.

As soon as he were laying down, Ryou snuggled up beside him in a tight hug.

Bakura just snickered and carefully kissed Ryou on the tip of his nose.

The boy blushed and hid his face in Bakuras oversized t-shirt.

"What, did it felt that bad?" Bakura laughed, hearing the small giggles coming out of the other boy now and then.

"Noo… It just tickled. Felt nice to…!" Ryou looked up, childish cheeks in a light shade of red and small mouth in a big, genuinly shy smile.

Bakura smiled, but grew worried as his heart began to pump faster, knowing how close Ryou was and that it would be so easy to act on his bottled up emotions…

But he couldn't really do such a thing, now could he? What if Ryou took it the wrong way and avoided him for, like five years from now. That would be awful.

"What if I did something that would tickle even more…? Would you like that, Ryou? If not, you could just say stop…" Bakura swallowed, waiting for the boys reply.

"Hmm? Well, that feeling's funny. It's like it's something living and moving in my stomach every time it happens." Ryou laughed openly, snuggling closer.

Heart pumping faster again, and body warmth beginning to rise. If he wasn't mistaken, the pounding of his crotch was to. Fuck… He didn't want to face the same 'wiggle-accident' again… But how could he not, when his attractions for the young boy was building up for every second?

"Uh, well, we can try, and see how you feel afterwards, is that alright?" He certainly didn't want to rush things, not now. Could end in a disaster.

"Okay! I trust you 'Kura!" Ryou smiled, looked up again to await what would happen next. His eyes were glowing with anticipation and he jumped lightly when Bakura placed his lips over his.

He kissed them slowly and carefully, wanting to 'tickle' as much as he were alowed to at the moment.

Confused, but curiously, Ryou answered the kiss, unexperienced lips exploring in a shaking and slow pace.

He learned the ways of this game kind of quickly and felt the tickeling emotion run through his entire body.

They brooke apart, staring at each other for minutes, before one of them dared to open their mouth, not to kiss again, but to talk.

"…Felt… okey?"

Ryou thought for a while, but answered with a hazy and dreamingly smile. "Uh huh. Never felt anything that tickled that much before…"

Bakura exhaled and felt a strong feeling a relief. Thank Ra, that he hadn't taken it in a bad way.

"And… My stomach feels weird and it feels as if something's cramped between my legs. Am I sick?"

"Uh, no, no, you're completely healthy… Does it feel warm or hard when you try to touch it?" Bakura swallowed lightly again.

Ryou tried to do just that, and nodded. "What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing's wrong with it! It's just… It just wants to tell you that it feels happy… That is feels good. You understand?" Talking about the bees and the flowers…

Ryou nodded again and tried to touch it a second time. "It… It tickles when I do this… It's a good thing?" He looked quite worried.

Bakura removed his hand from Ryous back and rested it on Ryous tiny, exploring digits.

"Yeah, it's a good thing. Don't you worry. Want to feel a special feeling?" Bakura smiled warmingly and lighty began to help Ryou to stroke.

Ryou blushed, but closed his eyes and breathed out as a wave of ligh plesure radiated from his thighs and up to his waistline.

"T-Tickles a lot… I f-feel warm…" He huffed, resting his forehead against Bakuras chest.

Maybe this was a good start, helping the little one to reach climax… Bakura hoped so. Ryou may even trust him even more after this was over… Hopefully!

Ryous breathing increased, his own hand to relaxed to do any good, so Bakura removed it from play and massages Ryou with a perfect and steady pace.

"'K-Kura… How did you know you could do something like this… Mmm… F-From the start?" Ryou clenched his little teeth and bit down softly on his lowerlip as precum came out of the heated flesh.

"It feels wet now… I don't need to go to the bathroom, r-right?" He breathed in and out, a lot more faster, and cried out gasps and moans when the jolts made themselves known again.

"No… If will feel really good soon, I promise. You just lay back and relax, I'll help you out…"

Ryou smiled thankfully and closed his eyes once more.

Bakura increased the pace and went faster and softly clenched his hand around Ryou the closer he felt the boy come.

A few more gasp, moans and jolts and the nine-year old was in heaven. His whole beeing, body and soul seemed to explode and leave him soaked on different parts of his body, breathing calmly and completely relaxed as if he was ready to fall asleep.

Bakura, overwelmed by such an intimate act with someone so young, with a boy that rested so close to his heart, couldn't hold some of his feelings inside anymore, so he took the boy in his arms, kissed him for the last time and rocked him back and forth until Ryou would, eventually fall into a deep slumper, with a joyful smile on his swollen lips.

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Yay! Chapter 3 finally out! Hmm, did I hear a squeal? Did I hear that you enjoyed this _a lot_? Heh… Actually, I did to, and I feel quite proud over writing this at such a late hour… Thanks for the continued support for this story, and an update will be arriving quite soon, I guess. Or more like, I hope it will…! My brain is dead, but still full of erotic shota love… Bwaha!


	5. Finding Love Illegal

Bakura dried the sweat away from his eyes and began running again. Oddly enough, he felt extremely happy, and he had a hard time to drop that bright smile of his.

The euphoria made him so jumpy that he felt the need for some exercise. He never did any exercise, what so ever. But tonight, he… he had just felt like it.

Suddenly, his cellphone rang, the sudden sound got him to an abrupt stop. He fished it up from his pocket and answered. The familiar voice of his egyptian friend reach his ears.

"Hey, 'Kura! You _do_ know that Ryou wanted to celebrate his 10th birthday a lot sooner? I mean, it's half a year until he gets to that age, but why not give him this little treat?"

Bakura breathed out. "Yeah… Why not… But I'm worried. I haven't got him anything, so what if he… hates me _after that_?" Ofcourse, Bakura meant something _completely_ different…

"And you could actually say that with a straight face? I know nothing about you that's straight… I mean, come on, has anything you ever did offended Ryou? Things you said, or…?"

"… I guess not, but…Fuck." Bakura gritted his teeth and kicked the nearest tiny rock he could find with a great force.

"What's it now? Eh, 'Kura? You've got yourself in trouble, something involving the little white haired angel?" YamiMarik seemded worried, even though his tone wouldn't change, Bakura knew how his friend was like.

"It's… I don't know anymore, but…" His mood seemed to darken, and he sighed deeply. "I'll talk to you about it when I'm home again. Should be about ten minutes or so… See ya."

"Take care, asshole." YamiMarik hung up and Bakura could swear he actually_heard_ the dark skinned one smile.

"Atleast someone's happy…" He growled and began running again towards the apartment he'd helped YamiMarik pay of, by that making half of it legally his own home.

When arriving he saw a _very_ happy Ryou running around in the backyard, hunting butterflies.  
Body warm, cheeks red and lips in a big, big smile containing neatly brushed white teeth, and his half long snowy white hair that played an eager game with the air.

Bakura sighed. He wanted nothing more then to lift that little boy in his arms and walk up some stairs and devour every inch of that pale, beautiful body…

YamiMarik interupted his naughty thoughts.

"How are you feeling? You sounded pretty down when we spoke on the phone…" He ruffled Bakuras hair, smiling as timidly as he could.

"I'll get by."

"Let's go inside and find us a quiet spot to talk." YamiMarik guided the gloomy one inside, placing a hand on his shoulder.

They hopped onto a little bean bag in one of the 'storage-rooms', Bakura half laying in YamiMariks lap, YamiMarik softly stroking the other ones hair while talking in a low voice.

"I just don't know what to do with… with my feelings anymore. They're overwelming me to the brink that I'll… I mean, you know how obsessed I were around Ryou before, right? …Now it's a thousand, billion, million whatever times worse." Bakura hurried through his sentences, almost frustrated to tears.

A chuckled was heard. "I think you may be overreacting."

"Eh?! _Me_, overreacting? You've gone insane?"

"Gone? Babe, I already am…" He laughed, then cleared his throat. "What I mean is… Ryou is yet really young, and quite naivé for that matter. He barely knows what the word sex means, and besides, you haven't made a move on him, so, no problems there."

Bakura sweatdroped.

"…What? You have?!"

"Kind of… That's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"_Kind of_?"

"Yeah. Or… Not really. I went almost all the way."

YamiMarik hit a palm against his forehead. "Stupid 'Kura. What did you do to him?"

"…Gave him a hand-job…" He couched.

And so did YamiMarik, but threw an entire fit of it instead.

"And h-he let you? Did he even like it?"

"He said it 'tickled', and yes, he liked it a lot and didn't make an atempt to stop it." Bakura looked a bit smug, but wiped the content smile away when he saw the look of suspicion in deep violet, lavendel-purple eyes.

"You know, this is on the limit of beeing pure Pedophilia."

"Pe… what?"

Eyes narrowed. "Don't come here and say that you don't know what that word means…?"

"…I… don't…?" Bakura prepared to get a fist in his face, but none came …This time he'd escaped a terrible death. Yay.

"Pedophilia is when someone… in your age or older is sexually attracted to kids. So young that they barely or haven't yet reached puberty. And if you actually do any sexual to them, it's illegal. Understand _that_ word? I-l-l-e-g-a-l."

Bakuras entire beeing droped down to the floor. "N-No fucking way. It's illegal to love… It's_illegal_ for me to love _Ryou_?!"

"Who loves Ryou?" And who, if not Ryou himself had find the key and unlocked the door from behind (smart little brat), and who now stood and watched them?

"Awh, fuck…" Bakura got up and tried to run away but was forced to stay, the little one wrapping his arms around his waist.

"Ryou, no hugs now, I'm… I'm not feeling well."

"Is it 'Kura who loves Ryou?" Ryou looked up, blinking, almost looking hopeful.

Bakura bit his lips, got on his knees, hugging him quikly before slowly trying to explain.

"Y-Yes, it's me who loves you… But my love for you is special, Ryou." He said between little breaths of regret, or could it be sorrow?

"Tell me!" Ryou smiled, but kept himself at bay and _calm_, now that Bakura wanted to tell him something this important.

"… I'm not sure how to tell this so… I will tell you _everything_ when you turn 15. Okey? So you have to wait, because I feel so sad right now, that I can't tell you and… you may be a big boy now Ryou, but not _that_ big…"

"I see… But Ryou loves 'Kura to. I would never live without you."

"That's… Same for me. I-I love you Ryou." He ended his sentence with trying to surpress a sob, but didn't succeed.

Confused, although understanding, Ryou hugged him as tightly as his young, not so muscular arms would allow him to.

"'Kura shouldn't worry. Ryou'll take care of him!"

"Thank you, Ryou…"

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And chapter 4 is up. Finally. It has been a long wait, indeed. And for that I am sorry… Hopefully this chapter is a wee bit longer then the last, and hopefully I'll be able to write more for each chapter that will follow! Thanks for the continued support for this and for my other fics! –HUGS to you all- Thank you!!!


	6. Salvation

The alarmclock made of a few annoying rings before getting slammed into the ground with such force that the batteries poped out.

Bakura sighed. A deep, deep sigh.

Of having to go to school, were a information kind of day would be held about the subject he wanted avoid at any costs: Pedophilia.

Resently, many rapist had been written about in the newspapers, and the local TV news had been all over the stories like a pack of hungry wolfs devouring a helpless animal. The news itself was about males a bit older then Bakura himself, that had find pleasure in harrasing little young boys. Everyone loves a crazy rapist who enjoys to play twisted games with youthful, innocent angels. Don't they?

The sentences for all the one that had been caught and played guilty or proven guilty, was a few years in prison or lifetime in prison. In some cases the males had been quite mentally sick, so a trip to the asylum was their only choice.

Bakura combed his hair with his fingers and got up to apply his make-up. Black eyeliner, egyptian inspired drawing around his eyes and a light powder that made him look even paler then usual, rubbed over his entire face. He studied his reflection in the mirror while getting dressed. Was he anything like those men in the papers? Was he really a sick, twisted, worth-nothing kind of human? _Was he…?_ Was he a human at all, thinking such thoughts about a young boy, not even half his age? He thought about this for about five minutes, before realising that he would be late for school if he didn't leave the house soon. He wayed to YamiMarik that quickly followed him down the stairs and out into the late summer morning.

"How are you feeling? I sense that you're not quite yourself this morning? Is it because the presentation about Pedophilia today?" The egyptian looked at the other one with concern in his eyes, while liting a joint.

"You're going to smoke that shit when heading to school? You are the one that's not yourself…" Bakura defended, but still feeling the powerful urge to puff on that weed himself.

YamiMarik laughed. "To be able to survive this day, I have to. And I think it could help you and your angst. Want a few drags? It's on the house, no pay this time…"

Bakura shrugged and inhaled the thick smoke. He knew it would come to this, and after a few seconds, the burning from his troat became to intense that he gagged, the little breakfast he had eaten this morning gone in a flash.

"Shit man…" YamiMarik found this incident very funny and bent over to laugh until he cried. "That's some nasty weed. I thought you were used to it being that strong?"

Bakura coughed, gagged to throw up, wiped his mouth and did the same things all over again, until the positive effects of the drug made itself known, and he to found himself laughing his brains out, extremely and over-the-top happy.

And as he walked the gray streets of Domino City, everything went colourful, it felt as he were floating on air, walking with shoes full of air, and as he pushed the PLAY-button on his MP3, and the music blasted out of his earphones, he could feel the base vibrating through his entire body and the song he really hated, suddenly became the best song he had ever heard. Everything became funny and he laughed at YamiMariks unsteady walk. If an outsider, a complete stranger would have seen them now, they would think that they had a little to much to drink.

Ah, they wonders of beeing high! He felt every single braincell slowly disapear, and as all the functions of his body sut down, he felt the pleasant dizziness bury itself deep inside of him.

But when arriving at school, the smile lowered, but not all the way down, only about half, and he still couldn't get the fact that the several of the girls wearing thongs, looked so breathtakingly funny. He cackled in his most psycopat-like laugh and the girls (that usually did anything to be around him) ran away with fear in their eyes.

He felt quite content, but for the last two hours they would be in school, the 'information' about the childmolestors made him more and more restless. He couldn't sit still for one minute and always had to keep doing something, like for example chewing on a pen or to stamp his foot to the low music blasting into his ears. His body was on overdrive, and he thought… that it wouldn't hurt getting laid right now, the high would intensify and he would find his orgasms double in strenght. Maybe he could look for Ryou and ask him to follow him into the toalet…?

Despite the fact that he was still on drugs, still extremely high, he still had some kind of sense of what was right or wrong. Dragging Ryou into a toalet, and ignorantly talking his virginty, would be nothing more then cruel and Bakura gritted his teeth and asked to leave the classroom, to take a break. The spiral had begun going downward again. Like so many other times he had smoked weed, he always began thinking about awful things, resulting in depression and deep angst.

He had a razor. In a matchbox that rested in a pocket inside his shoulderbag.

His 'mission' here was to use it, he told himself and went with determend footsteps through the corridors to his salvation.

He stagered around until he found the door that was marked with the classy title 'Men'. _Man? I'm not a man, I'm an animal…_

But before he could reach out and pull down the handle, suddenly one of his female classmates taped him on his shoulder.

"'Kura, you okay?" She asked, curling her platina blond hair with a finger. She was the girl that Bakura always called 'The Doll'. Because she looked like one. Long, red, white or black dressed with bows, roses and hearts all over them and with headdressed in different colours and styles. With lips painted red and make-up always perfect, with centimeters long black lashes, she sometimes looked as if she were made of plastic, plain creepy, just like those plastic dolls one buys, that has those big, wideopen eyes.

He didn't answer, but tried to shove past her, pushin hard with his hands to get her to move from were she stood, in front of the door, blocking the way in.

"Just let me in, I need to… to... Come on, _move_… Dolly, you'll regret this when my fist finds your jaw…" Bakura growled, anger flashing in panicked, addicted eyes.

The Doll got upset, chocked and quickly moved away from the door. "B-But Bakura, are you sure everythings okay?" She worriedly asked, before getting a slight, rough pull by the hair, and Bakura whispering in her ear: _Leave. Now._

She ran away, obviously to get help.  
He looked the door, poured some water into the sink and pulled out his beloved razor.

_Salvation, Salvation, Salvation, Salvation, Salvation… _He chanted, aiming for that life-supporting vein.

Aim, stab, pull and tear apart.

Blood flows freely.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(The self hurting thing is so damn typical _me..._ -sighs-)And that was... the longest wait anyone of you had to endure... Sorry about that, my loves. I haven't been myself for quite some time now, but I hope that the sideeffects of this will be me, writing more on this story. I have it all planned out. The next chapter, you're going to see what happens to Bakura and then, well, let's just say _time will tell_...!


	7. Drug Clouded Eyes That Screams For Help

I'm very sorry for such a short chapter. My mind has been everywhere but here… I think I'm to self-destructive for my own good.  
First the cutting, then the drinking, then the normal cigarettes + weed.  
I think I'm getting way out of line here… It's to dangerous for me to even think…I guess I should just go disappear somewhere… No one would miss me anyway…  
I've been thinking about my fanfics... That they're all trying to describe or represent some part of me... That I wish to get rid of... Improve or otherwise... _I sometimes wish I wasn't me..._

Eitherway, hope you enjoy this _little_ treat!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"I think… There's something wrong with Bakura!" The Doll had quickly made her way to get YamiMarik, the only one she knew that really cared about Bakura.

"What, what's going on? Where is he now?"

"…Toalet. He seemed real angry and… I don't know, depressed."

YamiMarik sighed, frustrated rubbing his temples. He knew exactly why his friend was troubled, and when troubled, he always got to the point of self-injury, cutting was the popular one.

So, led by Dolly, YamiMarik walked through the corridors and banged on the door.

"Bakura, if you do not open this door, _right now_, there's going to be some major consequences. You get me?!"

As expected, there was no answer so he hit the door with his balled fists, after minutes of pounding, pieces of barely noticable skin was torn away from his knuckles and the sickly white door turned a light shade of red in various places.

He screamed to the frightened girl standing beside him, to get the janitor. To unlock the door.

Through panicked voices calling out, hoping that their friend would be in there, alive and well.

And that was _probably _the case, knowing Bakura wouldn't commit suicide unless extremely pressed… And fucking hell, this time they believed he really was.

So YamiMarik _did _worry. A hell of a lot.

Bakura was hunched over the sink, holding his right arm in a tight grip, squeezing out blood from the centimeters deep (and wide) cuts. The look on his face was terrible, the look of someone troubled, possesed but also deeply insane.

YamiMarik made an atempt to walk towards him, but was stopped by a bloody hand reaching out, as if wanting to grab him by the throat, squeeze to cut of the breathing.

So the Egyptian stood back, playing with his hair, not knowing what to say or do to make the white haired stop his self-mutilation.

The Doll had the same expression, except for frantically biting on her lip.

"What are we going to do?" She whispered in a chocolate coloured ear.

"The best thing right now would be to wait for him to finish, which would take another fifthteen minutes… We _could_ force him, but that would end in my teeth getting smashed out, an eye poked out, ribes completely destroyed or fingers pulled out of their joints. I _would_ want to keep my beautiful hair as it is too…"

She swallowed hard at his cold response, smiling, but acting nervous.

"He's extremely violent when in this state… I should know…" YamiMarik chuckled, unbuttoned the blue school uniform and pulled up his shirt to reveal a very deep, silvery white scar, carved as the shape of a cross, webbing itself from his hip-bone to little below his right nipple.  
His voice was still icy cold as he continued.  
"He did this with the closest sharp object he could find, which was a letter opener. All to prevent me from stop him hurting himself. He's real fucked up, but I'm not just hanging with him because it gives me status, he _is_ and will _always be_ my best friend."

He locked eyes with the albino looking male, and said, softly. "It's _enough_ now Bakura. Just stop."

Bakura blinked, hazingly dropping to the floor, biting in a knuckle to prevent himself from bursting into tears. He was confused, and it showed. Eyes fluttered closed, open and he looked around as if not knowing where he was.

"Let's get those cuts cleaned up. Dolly, please do your best to wash away the blood from the sink." He nodded towards her direction, but didn't pay any attention to if she answered or wanted to even do it in the first place.

She looked stunned, then mad, then panicked, not beeing used to so much blood in one place.

YamiMarik pushed himself away from the janitor who protested that they should really be going to the nurse, the Egyptian not caring at all what that bastard said, but instead, slowly lifting Bakura up over his shoulders, like the wounded, insecure boy he really was, carying him away from the place he always got the most of his angst; School.


	8. Trying Not To Be Broken

"It fucking hurts when you carry me…" Bakura moaned, wobbling uneasily back and forth on YamiMariks back.

"I know, but we're almost there."

"What, there?" Bakuras head had cleared up. Atleast for the moment.

"To the apartment, stupid. I have to stitch up your arms." Carefully, YamiMarik stoped dead in his tracks, and looked over his shoulder on to Bakuras wrists. They gaped at him like tiny bloodfiled graves and he had to take a deep breath to prevent him from throwing up. The cuts were so deep though, that a tiny trail of blood had marked were the two were going. Blood instead of breadcrums. He sighed, wondering how the Dominos Daily News would handle this. He thought about one possible headline: "Could this be another sick rapist?! Join us LIVE today to explore the mysterious trail of blood, leading to a student of the Domino Highs apartment. Is he the man behind these resent crimes or…?"

He shook his head, not wanting to wonder all to much on that, atleast not now.

Hearing Bakura snezze, he turned his head up, to scan the brown eyes. And, oh and behold, his pupils were as wide as miniature ping-pong bolls, and as black as tar.

"What?" Bakura asked, almost acting annoyed.

"You're _still_ high. I wonder why I'm not…? Hmm, could it be that I don't go and lock myself inside a toalet to cut my wrists up as soon as I get a drag on some fucking low quality cannabis?! And as soon as…"

"YamiMarik…" Bakura huffed. "Please, let's… talk about this when we get to… that apartment thing…" He blinked, making an atempt to switch on that 'puppy-eyes-please-do-as-I-want' look. "Please…?"

"Begging isn't going to get you anywhere… But alright, we'll talk about this when we arrive…" YamiMarik gave up.

"Sit." He ordered, pointing on one of the four sofas in the expensivly decorated livingroom. He wasn't the one who payed it all (it was a far away relative), he had to admit, the only costs Bakura and he was charged, was food, water and electricity. No big deal, as this was a shitty apartment, with easy-to-get drugs, right around the corner, dodgy guys hiding in a empty cellar, to provide you with the drug of your choice.

Sometimes, the only thought YamiMarik had about him and his white haired friend was that… they were stupid. So fucking stupid.

Bakura had his over-the-top self-destructive side of himself, and YamiMarik were the one who enjoyed alcohol and drugs. So, if you thought about it, they were both as equally broken, they destroyed themselves on purpose, but in different ways…

Bakura sat himself down, and immediately looked afraid.

"Oh fuck." He huffed, trying to push YamiMarik away as he was beeing tied down in his sit, with hard leather bands, to keep him from running away. Ofcourse, he enjoyed the kick he got from hurting himself, but having his wounds stitched up… that was a totally different thing. He would rather just sit there and wait for the blood to stop from pouring itself on to the white carpet floor. Much better to leave your wounds unattended, then cleaning them with a liquid that stung far more then a burnmark.

"Shut up, and stop beeing such a crybaby. You know it doesn't work with me." The dark one sang, hoping away to get all the equipment needed for his little 'operation'.

"A-And why are you so fucking happy?!" The wounded albino cursed, eyes fierce and frightening… Well, if you're YamiMarik they're not…

"Any reason why I shouldn't be, having my favorite 'Kura-boy right here in front of me…?"

"What are you playing at?"

YamiMarik grew quiet, scratching his thigh, as if in deep thought.

"I'm just saying… That I miss having you around. Present, with me, here in the same room. It's not so usual that you come and visit me. Infact, I'd say I'm quite lonely, and feels good about having you here." He looked up, with some kind of calm sorrow in his dark and sparkling lavendel eyes with a hint of purple in them.

"…YamiMarik… You really mean that?"

"Yeah. I do." To keep himself from getting to emotionell, he preocupied himself with putting the thread in a needle.

"We can do that later…" Bakura said softly, patting his close friend on the head and leaned forward to wrap him in his arms.

He answered the intimate hug, leaning forward so that Bakura could sit comfortable. He then almost sat in his lap, to get so much body contact as possible. He hugged him hard, really missing the feeling he got whenever the half albino male took notice of him in this way.

* * *

"Isn't this something you could've told me… a lot sooner? I had no idea, until now…"

Bakura whispered into his friends ear, stroking him in an slow way across the back, to tired and numb in his arms to actually create much pressure.

At this, YamiMarik pretended to have an itch in his eye, and exclaimed that he would stitch up Bakuras wounds, so that they'd have it over with.

"… You've told me the first part already, you _have to_ get the second and last part out to…" Bakura poked his friend in the side, but didn't get a response.

"Please, YamiMarik? I know I'm not the person to beg… but this time, I'll toss my pride aside and be out of character. _Just for you_, you understand why, right?"

"Yes, I do understand why, but… I should never had told you. It'll be to much for you to carry, and adding all the bottled up emotions you have for Ryou… I doubt you'll last long." YamiMarik opened and closed his mouth slightly, after speaking, as if having a dry tongue or something.

After half an hour of quick, but precise stitching, YamiMarik went to put the gray and bloodstained towels in the washer.  
He then splashed ice-cold water on his face, not caring if strands of hair blurred his vision for a couple of seconds.

"You okay?" Bakura stood by the door, itching at his bandage-wraped arms.

"Yeah. You?"

"I am now. Thanks. If I wouldn't have you, I'd have no arms, they'd be amputated."

At this, they both bursted into a joyful, yet tied laughter, YamiMarik hunched over the sink, having trouble holding his 'happy-tears' inside.

"Oh, my Ra, Bakura. Imagine you with no arms. That's… _You're_ sick, man."

He hollered, continued with his violent laughter and pointed a shaking finger towards his albino friend, who had stuck his arms inside his T-shirt, walking around like the arms-less monster from the movie, Silent Hill, adding silly, gurgling and moaning soundeffects to his 'fancy' walk.

"What a laugh we had, that day, huh?"

"Yeah, definitively!" YamiMarik smiled, feeling genuinely happy to have Bakura as his friend.

* * *

_**I'm back**_! Missed me?

Sorry for the short chapter, my mind has (as expected) been elsewhere. But do not worry my friends, there will be updates, soon enough. Wether it will be on this story, or on someone completely new, I'm not sure.

But…Good news, I'm not dead. Not yet.


	9. Inner Turmoil

Bakura scrathed the back of his head and dragged of his shirt. He felt extremely overheated, maybe because of all the resent mental pressure.

He had thought about talking to Ryou a lot, explain his feelings in a way that the little one would understand. Although, he knew, deep in his heart, that Ryou might react in a negative way, on what he possible would come to tell him.

He yawned, and were so caught up in his own musings that he failed to notice a puzzled young boy, standing in the doorway, looking at him.

"Will I grow so tall when I'm as old as 'Kura?"

Bakura swirled around, swaying dangerously where he stood. "C-Come again?"

"Will I have those cool muscle-thingies to?" Ryou ran forwards and poked him several times on his beautifully, well-defined abs.

Bakura laughed and ofcourse, his abdomen tensed up, making his abs look and seem even more noticable.

Ryou eyes grew big like space-ships.

"Wow! That's so cool!" He said and smiled, poking again, utterly and totally fascinated.

Bakura ruffled his young, but close friends hair, yearning sparkles in those sweet, chocolate tainted eyes.

"Does 'Kura still love Ryou, like he said before?" Out of the blue, the little innocent one said, making Bakura cough, grasping his stomach for some kind of unexisting support.

"I-I'm sorry…?" Ryou hugged him, trying his best not to break apart, crying, where he stood.

"N-No, it's okay little one… I just… yes, I still love you. _And I will always love you… _You should know that'll never change…" He swallowed, wanting to sqeeze the very life out of that little creature in his arms, for no words could ever express how much he cared for him.

"Really?" Ryou smiles brightly, wiggling a little where he stood.

"Yes, really." Bakura blinked, carefully and… maybe a little shy?

Ryou laughed, bending forward, kissing his 'Kura softly on the cheek.  
His cheeks flushed pink, when he realised what he just had done.

"You little…" Bakura nuzzled the tip of the others nose, hearing a sneeze not short after.

"Can 'Kura sleep next to Ryou tonight? Please?"

Bakura gulped. "Alright, if you want to."

"Yes, Ryou wants that!"

"In your bed or mine?" Bakura felt idiotic. He knew were this might lead…

"'Kuras! 'Cause it smells as nice as you!"

The albino sighed, grasping the young ones hand, leading him downstairs to his own, dimly-lit room. You could say it looked like a cave, a dark basement, with only black and red features, including his many, long and thick curtains, shielding him from the outside world, from the terrible (and quite annoying) sun. He slept in some kind of bunk-bed, creating a carved hole in the wall, curtains also drawn in front of it.

Ryou, who had only been alowed to come in to Bakuras room two or three times so far, smiled with bright features and tugged on the others pants.

"What is it, Ryou?"

"When I grow up to be as old and cool as 'Kura, I want to have a room just like his!" He giggles, swirling and jumping around, as if the sight of Bakuras chaotic room made him the happiest little boy in the whole world.

"You really are something… Wait! Did you say I was _old?!_ I'm going to get you for that!" Bakura playfully snarled, reaching out, tickling the smiling angel.

Ryou huffed, and ran toward the bed, to hide behind the thick curtains, holding them securely in place with his tiny, white, porcelain hands.

"Damn. That's cheating, you know. L-Let go of the curtains!" Bakura tried to sound angry… apparently it didn't have the effect that was wished for, Ryou just giggled even more.

"Nuh uhh!" He pouted, but it seemed as if he enjoyed himself so much, he couldn't stop his extremly happy smiling.

"…You're to cute for your own good, you know that, right…?" Suddenly, Bakura looked down to the floor, with a sad and frustrated expression on his face.

"H-Huh?" Ryous smiled droped, his tiny fists relaxing his grip, visible confused.

Bakura shook his head. "No, nothing… 'Kuras just… not feeling so well…"  
He sighed, wanting nothing else then to channel that frustration on his arms or wrists with the sharpest item of his choice. He knew he couldn't though, it always seemed as if Ryou could _smell_ if he had been cutting.

"Why are… you sad?" Ryou crawled towards him, but Bakura flinched, not wanting to 'dirty' Ryou down with his own filthy body and mind.

"Ryou… doesn't understand…" He sulked, drying away silent tears.

And if there was something Bakura hated the most, was when Ryou cried… Because of him.

"I-I'm sorry… I'm so sorry baby…" Bakura shook, as he stroked the little ones burning cheek.

"'Kura don't have to be sorry…" Ryou felt the need to say this, for no particular reason, really. He just desperately wanted to comfort his friend, almost beeing able to touch the fumes of anger, depression, selfhate and loathing radiating from the older of the two.

"I know I don't have to… but… it's just that…" Bakura bit his lower lip, eyes gazing at everything, except Ryou.

Ryou blinked.  
…Sad little eyes locking together with the others.

"I'm not sure if I've told you this before… The thing is, Ryou…" Bakura softly took one of the angels hands and led him to a nearby chair.  
He repeated his last word before taking a deep breath, to blurt out all those bottled up emotions he held…

"You know I love you and I would never do anything to hurt you. _Never_. But beeing so much older then you, that makes it very difficult... You see, in this society we live in, beeing… _close_… to someone that's a lot more younger then yourself… Well, it's kind of illegal."

"Is that when those men in blue uniforms will come take someone away? 'Cause they've done something bad…?"

Bakura smiled, a broken, yet slightly happy smile, it was a huge relief for him to know that Ryou understood, atleast some of the things he was telling him.

"Something like that, yes… By the way… You _do_ know how old I am, right Ryou?" Eyebrows twitching nervously.

"Hmm? Not as old as Ryou…?" Ryou flinched a bit, waiting for Bakura to have some kind of breakdown.

"I'm 18. It means I'm almost a fully grown man and that I can do whatever I want. But in some cases, the price I'll have to pay is high. And this time, with you… and me… If I do what I really, _really_ want… Those men in blue uniforms'll come take me away for a _very _long time." His head droped, shoulders low and back crouched.  
It felt as if he no longer had the willpower to hold on to his beloved, fake mask of harsh emotions that would let nobody inside for a peek.

But no matter what he would do or say, Ryou always seemed to see through him… Through his concrete walls, the mirrors of illusion, _the great façade_…

* * *

Well, that's that, _for now_! I have a lot of new ideas for a new chapter, though… So, be cool ya'll, relax, update's coming as soon as I'll be able to keep my eyes open (I've been so fucking tired… -o-") _**I'm not sure if I'm gonna update anything else to this chapter... But hang in there, either way, you all will have your beloved updates!!**_

…I'm not dead!! S-Still alive! Bwaah!  
Love you guys, for still supporting me and my 'ON HOLD' fics. It means a lot, and I assure you… I'll keep on writing, even though my updates'll be scattered months apart.


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